Frustrating and Discouraging Moments…

Kristi and I have seen some really encouraging improvements in my health over the last four months. As of today, we have completed 123 days on our life changing diet plans. But this week, we hit a bit of a speed bump.

After watching the documentary Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead, I decided that I wanted to do a juice fast, so Kristi has been juicing three times a day. But this week, I realized that a juice fast probably isn’t the best thing for me. The problem is that when I’m only drinking juice, I’m not getting enough calories or fat, and my muscles seem to get weaker.

When I have bad days, like two days ago, I get so weak that I cannot transfer myself off of my wheelchair or back onto it by myself. I have a hard time roaming around our condo, and when you add the fact that I don’t have energy because of juice fasting, it just becomes unbearable. There are other factors at play too. For instance, when I get too hot, I become this blob of goo that can’t be moved. It is a heat intolerance that comes with MS, and it really stinks to be so easily affected by heat when you live in Texas.

Well this is what happened to me two nights ago. I was not able to transfer myself back onto my wheelchair when I was in the bathroom. It is bad enough that the toilet is a very hard surface, and it was quite late at night. After one try of getting up, I started feeling very dizzy. My right arm felt like is was completely numb which means I might be starting to overheat. This is a really bad sign.

It always starts off with my right arm going numb. Then I start to lose feeling in my legs followed very closely by my body swaying because of dizziness. I cannot even begin to explain what I am feeling at the time except that I am afraid. I can barely speak, my arms become useless, and my understanding of what needs to be done to get me up does not make sense to me. Simply put, I feel FEAR!

I cannot even imagine what Kristi is feeling at the time. It seems that it is almost entirely up to her to get me on the wheelchair. She’s not a tall girl, but I will tell you that she is by far the strongest woman I have ever met. Now as you know, I am not a small guy. I mean I ate complete garbage over the last few year. Kristi has no problem picking me up from my wheelchair and throwing me on to the bed.

She does have a problem getting me back onto the wheelchair in the bathroom. We have a very cramped bathroom as you can imagine with our condo only being 834 sq feet. How did we get me on the wheelchair? We started by giving me a B-12 supplement. B-12 gives me a lot more energy and seems to “wake” me up. Then we added turmeric (which seems to loosen my tendons up) and ascorbic acid. She then brought a fan into the bathroom and had it blowing directly on me to cool me down. On top of all of that, we did a lot of praying.

After taking that stuff and waiting about an hour, we were able to get me back on my wheelchair. The next transfer onto the bed was a breeze. Needless to say I slept very soundly that night. I was exhausted from that event. That day was a horrible day. We both thought those days were in the past, so it was a bit discouraging to have to deal with it once again. I was thinking so much about how horrible that day was that I forgot about the awesome day I was about to begin the next day.

This happens every time I have a bad day. The next day always turns out to be a stellar day. And it was a great day! I had no issues with strength. I did not get tired as much. I was very energetic. The best part was that I had a great attitude and I was happy.

I wanted to share this with you because I want to be as real as possible about our journey. I don’t ever want to give the impression that this whole “getting healthy” is simple, and that we never have any frustrating moments. And I would never want to give that impression especially if someone is reading this who also deals with MS or a similar disease. But even though we still have those frustrating moments, Kristi and I try to look at the big picture. My overall health has improved dramatically since the end of last year. Overall, my quality of life is 150% better than it was just four months ago. Things are getting better.